so this is a huge update from my last entry.  i came to my senses and i am back with george.  we're happy again, things couldn't be more perfect.  i graduated, i have some pics on this website: http://groups.msn.com/loserextreme/shoebox.msnw

i actually made student of the year for year 2, i was captain of the class, president of the class, first one to get national technical honor society two years in a row, and i was IFPO certified (i scored 2nd of both classes).  i also received highest class average and two scholarships.  at the queensbury graduation, i was surprised by my CJS teacher.  i didnt know he was going to be there but he was there to present an outstanding achievement award.  select seniors get an award for their effort and top scores in each subject like social studies, math, english, etc.  mine was for vocational technologies.  

im leaving for college on spetember 4th, going on the cruise august 21st.  this cruise is going to be much needed.  i've had an extremely busy summer.  ive been working two jobs, approximately 50-70 hours a week.  im very tired.  its getting a bit much for me, not used to it.  so other than my job, nothing is really going on besides getting clothes for autumn and different college and dorm stuff because there is nothing in herkimer, except a super wal-mart.  so yeah, im sorry i didnt make it to anyone's grad parties or birthday parties, i had to work... sorry!   well, it never ends... see ya guys. 

so there's not much going on except school is coming to an end, graduation is coming very soon, im very alone, im quite depressed, and im angry that forever, i will remember my high school year as being depressed and lonely.  goooood....   i hate boys and girls.  they all suck.  sooooo sick of it. my heart is staying with me, and no one can have it ever again, that way it wont get broken, and then no one can "own" me either.  i can go out and date who i want, when i want, do what i want with them, etc.      of course thats assuming someday i'll find someone to date....

happy one year anniversary 

im so sorry....

life is weird currently.  im actually getting up on the school work, attending my meetings for government, and im even doing all of the senior activities and attending all senior meetings.  i worked all weekend, that was fun.  i called adam all damn weekend but didnt actually talk to him until sunday night. (damn you!)   but thats ok because im going over there today.  then i have a senior meeting tonight at 6 to get our yearbooks, eat pizza, and eat sundaes.  yay!  im going to get that year book and realize that the year is over... jeeze.  its hitting me, but not quite.  graduation is going to be very sad.  im still hanging out at ashley's.... well as much as i can anyways.  lindsey is always there... so i cant be there, not if no one wants to see blood shed.  i hate her.  but yeah, if anyone gets really bored on.... i think its July 2, come over to my house for my grad. party anytime after 2.  ok?  ok.   i suppose thats it for now.  i have to go back to classwork. 

so things lately have been interesting.  i miss george a lot... but i know it'll be the same thing over.... but still... i miss the way he looked at me, held me, kissed me, said i love you.... i broke his heart and it still tears me up inside.  ive been trying to hang out with ashley and everyone as much as possible... but ashley and lindsey make me sick now and i cant stand to be around lindsey... so my days are basically free now... so if anyone wants to hang out, let me know cuz im dying here!  and im sorry to all those i never kept in touch with... i sortive let him hold me back from everything i wanted to do and everything important to me... especially you adam, joey, and francesca.  i love you guys and u bet im going to try to hang out with you.  i hope everyone will get hold of me.  oh yeah, and i just got a new car... its a 90 chevy lumina, black exterior, red interior, four door, 6 cylinder.  it's my beast. it looks good on the outside, but i hate the interior... but whatever, its better than an 89 ford escort.  but yeah.... other than my lonliness... and somewhat depression... im bored, so get hold of me guys.